philo

I'm sitting here in this very small room, the walls are painted in red, and the pictures on the wall smile at me. I look around me and I can see people with smily faces. The atmosphere is nearly perfect, and in the background I can hear a lovely, nice voice, this slow song makes me completely forget where I am. I'm keeping my thoughts to think once again about them. I'm feeling like I'm in trance, in another world, another place, or another dimension. It seems to be unreal, I'm caught in my thoughts, I can hear everybody talking without hearing any words. It's like a wordless speaking, my ears are closed and my eyes see everything.The music is going to be faster and my feet are feeling the groove, but in my mind there are still slow sounds. I'm looking at the wall opposite of me, there's hanging a big mirror with a golden decoration. I'm looking at my mirror image again and again and it tells me my thoughts, it's like the mirror would speak to me. My breath is going to be faster too, and the smoke of cigarettes scratches in my neck.
This winter feeling is coming over me, and my thoughts seem to be cold, freezy or even dark but there are still some white, hopefull snowflakes in my mind. On the table is standing my cup of coffee, which is already cold but I'm still drinking it without feeling any difference. This atmosphere is so pleasant. While I'm almost lost in my thoughts I hope that somebody will come to give me a piece of paper and a pen to make my unwritten thoughts be written. I'm leaving the room and while I'm opening the door I can feel a fresh breeze coming into this warm room. It's like somebody would throw a little piece of ice in a hot fire, and the fire is always stronger. Now I'm standing outside and I look for one last time behind me to read these wonderful words written on the door:
As Adam dies...


© pati ( winter 2006)